I love my trans body / the man at the store asks if I will wear men’s running shoes / the woman watches me bounce in overalls on the treadmill and he/hims me / the staff at the bike shop wear pronoun pins / the he/they is the most helpful / I name my green bike duke / as in heather / as in heather duke / as in
I want to be one of the popular girls / as in I want
to be the mythic bitch / as in I may look great in green but I own the color red in my heart of hearts / as in why are you pulling on my dick? / I love my trans body / I himbo my way up rock faces in three layers / I love my trans body / adriene tells me to hold myself / tells me I am strong and I am gentle / my love is god / my love is femme / I record a video and delete it because I hate the way my body looks / my love is god / I have three pairs of shorts on / please no one look at me / please no one see my body / I avoid the washrooms / the walls are painted with trans pride colors but why am I the only one / I ride my bike / I ride my bike / I ride my bike / I get sick / I’m a dead girl walking / I become something else / I build and shape and sculpt my trans body / I climb rock walls / I femme / I stretch / I yearn / I
run and run and bounce / I know I can be beautiful / just not today / I cannot carry all of these layers /
my muscles shrink / regroup / stretch / yearn / femme / I cannot carry all of this weight / I drop layers / I stop hiding / I wear bike shorts / you can see it all / why are you looking? / why aren’t you? /
I ride my bike / I zip / I huff / I bounce / I smile / I joy / I fall / I climb / I run / I fall / I stretch / I climb / I run / I am on top of the world / I am the
strongest I have ever been / I am soft / I am gentle /
I am strange / I look like hell / I look like paradise /
I love my trans body / my love is